I wish I didn't fuck up last semester. 3 F's and One D... what the fuck was I thinking? I can blame apathy and depression all I want, but I can never get that semester back. Now I am working my ass off to not only stay into kent, but to improve my GPA, study every day, pay rent and bills, while being grounded from my friends, social networking, my cell phone, TV... my life is gone. Seriously, and now I just discovered that my mom is forcing me to retake a class each portion of the summer sessions.... So sorry to all of you who thought you could hang with me in the summer. I guess I am fucked.
Hopefully I will actually be allowed to do stuff in the summer. I need the summer. I need the break. I need to go to warped tour. And I NEED to go camping. This is too much stress for me to handle. I need my friends.
This loneliness is too overbearing and it's just shoving me down a deeper pit of depression. I need out of here. I am isolated from the rest of the world. So while everyone is either out partying with their friends or enjoying a movie, I am at home sneaking online and wallowing. I have nothing better to do but read or sleep, and I have constantly been doing educational shit since 8 in the morning. My head is about to explode. I need out of my fucking room, but I am locked away in here.
fucking get me out of here, I miss my friends. I miss my life. This is so depressing.
I feel like sitting in the dark.
I'm turning off the lights and letting the darkness take me alive