Mother

Mom, do you feel the

poetry burning with passion through

my eyes?
the disguise,  a flame from the skies

of blue that my shattered soul

stares behind

your fucking words burn me alive

at the stake

they set fires in my heart

that scream out for heaven and

hell

i don’t believe in love anymore

wars fought between our hearts

and opposing minds

from years of bullshit held in

and out

can you really say that you believe in love?

unconditional --- bullshit

from a mother’s womb, her

love consumed with future doom

that i forever fuck with—

this doom a fucking noose

held in knots around my throat and

thoughts

you’re strangling me with your bullshit

and my heart will fucking rot

by your locked opinions that

you consider facts because after

all, a mother knows best right?

but i don’t believe in love anymore

you say my punishment isn’t

because of hatred, but love

yet you continue to take away

my life day after day, night after

night, nailing me to a fucking tree

that you planted and cut down for that

one moment where you could be god

of your world and of mine, and forsake me—

your son, sacrificing me to the pits

of hell:

the center of your hatred heart

is your very desire to take what I

live for? must i die in vain?

the pain of your inane methods

chains me down in something I don’t even

believe in anymore

i’d rather fuck all the whores and prostitutes

with passionless ecstasy than define this

dancing devil called anger anything

but hatred

yet you call this bullshit love?

you execute me to solitude confinement

when you know my deepest

demon is loneliness?

and you come barging through

my fucking door

with bullshit excuses to try

and see if i am disobeying your

commands when you’re the very last

person i wish to see because

you see I want to be happy but not with you and me,

with a girl who can see me for what I really am:

a poet, not your fucking image of

a perfect son that you’ve set your

high hopes up for

as you come barging through my door—

you rally for a false reality

set in technicality

trying to transform the center of

my being into your love for

other people’s opinions

and your dreams

you don’t care about me but how other’s see

you and perceive your parenting skills

i wish i could tell everyone how

i’d kill to feel loved

but you set your heart above for

my brother but not your

other son

how every night is filled with screams

of rage that are so passionate and real

they could set the house on fire

with just a blink of an eye

the rage that wrecks all

homes and turns them into just

houses, where moms are

not moms anymore

but mothers—

your tongue’s like a time bomb

tick, tick, ticking lies of unconditional lovers

but i don’t believe in love anymore