Tuesday, February 8, 2011

A Fine Kill (revised)

From the perspective of an eight year old

Mommy raised her voice at me
like all mommies do
and said,

Like she always does,
she flickered her eye lashes
and progressively got louder
with each word

I bit into the apple
of my slithering tongue--
the forbidden fruit; saying
"Fuck you."

"Where did you hear that from?"
her gleaming eyes spoke
in harsh hisses
of 'you-are-in-so-much-trouble-son'

"Daddy says it driving every day 
to the cars in front of us." My fear
coating the gasps of
'oh my gosh, she is going to kill me.'

"HONEY!"… from the other room 
my daddy swallowed, "Whaaaaaat?"
I looked astonished at the sound

Of my mommy's pronunciation 
formed by her goddess lips of maternal
grace, screaming at my daddy instead of 

me… a fine kill

From the perspective of a thirty-eight year old

That bitch was breathing out
fire again through gritted
teeth—that sworn lover of
mine—must be that time of month

Like she always does, her
voice was drowning out the sound of
the football game, screaming at our son 
for God knows what

I bit into my potato chips massaging
the crumbs with my tongue—
swallowing down words I wanted to
say like, “Shut the fuck up.”

I could hear her teeth grinding
like coffee beans as her words spoke
in harsh, quick staccato hisses
like a slithering snake

And I stared awe struck
listening to my beating heart,
to the sound of my last breath as
my son sold me out

“HONEY!” … I swallowed down a gulp
of Budweiser, and said, “Whaaaaaat?”
“GET OVER HERE!” my heart
raced and I took my last breaths

My mind was racing with ways to get 
out the situation, but nothing did. “Shit.” 
I walked into the arms of death,
with my head down low… a fine kill


  1. Dude, this is amazing. Honestly. I love how the "HONEY" stanza/paragraph was the same but in different perspective... beautiful.

  2. 1 agree with j bricks, youre a fine writer sir, very fine, i like the dual perspective thing, its somthing id like to see more, lol

  3. You've given me an idea nopps, a very good idea! ...

    can't explain now, you will just have to wait to see