the big bad me

show them your teeth,
she says
i turn away and run into the dark night
biting my lips until liquid
spills out

let them see your eyes,
she says
i plug my ears and take
shelter in the depths of the waxy canals

make them feel your talons,
she says
i pinch my skin to maintain
self-control until my nails meet flesh
and flesh meets blood

expose them to your true skin,
she says
i try to bury myself away
from her but
end up burying her

next to all the other secret skeletons

Andover

roseate dusk dots the
settling skyline
in flushed blossom winks
around ole andover

a town i didn’t grow up in
and know nothin’ about

the waves of the musky lake
dance to the
rocky shore, moving
with the wind

the tall trees in
the stretching distance
dive far into the
foggy horizon like the
knights of the sky;
like birds breathing in
the world underneath their
winged swords

i listen for the sound of
familiarity, but silence surrounds
me in silhouetted shadows
of the unreachable
the unobtainable
the mirrored masks of mystery
and discovery and
the pristine
memories that echo
loud like in valleys
but i’m deaf to those
‘cause this town ain’t
nothin’ i know about
and i didn’t grow up here

the seagulls sure love
to sing me their melodies
and the trees sure love
to shiver their songs
over the littered cigarette butts
caked in ash mud n’ dirt
that tell me stories
and i’ll embrace this
moment, but this moment
ain’t mine

i’ll marry the stars, here
and we’ll dance with this wind
just listen
t o                 t h e                 s u n r i s e
‘cause in the morning
i’ll be far, far away
but those blue orbs,
her skyline that i
love to fly through
they will be there
we will be there
embracing and dancing in
our own moments
in our own town

and that stretching distance
of time and memory and love,
our future,
i know nothin’ about
and i didn’t grow up there
but that moment,
it’ll be ours

Childhood

do you remember the hot
sun beating down
across the chalk-covered
pavement? ‘cause i do
the concrete cracks were
like fate’s spider webs
catching us whole
for the digestion of design

me and matt
and danny and adam
we liked to run and
pitch golden crab
apples the size of baseballs
at the stop sign
in front of my yard
and we’d watch the swarm of bees
flood out like shooting stars
across the sky
they’d chase us
and it was just a game
back then, do you remember?
‘cause i do

some days i like to watch cars
drive by, and i’d
think back to when we
would sit in lawn chairs
on the side of the road
under the heat of
the summer sun sipping
on our kool-aid and
we’d wave with screams
to honk like it
was the law or something
do you remember those days
‘cause i do

and sometimes i look
into the vast sky and watch
the lemon squeeze it’s
juice upon the earth
in it’s bright color galore
of sunrise and sunsets
and i take a taste of the
citrus memories of lemonade
daydreams, thinking back to when
we would walk around the
neighborhood with the little
red wagon and sell to the
thirsty weekend-yard-working
dads who would buy a cup
for a quarter, and we’d collect it
all in that jar that summer
that we were saving
up for a club-house.
it ended up in the
childhood digestion design
of our stomachs
‘cause those sweets
were smiling at us in
the dairymart down the road
and our pockets were
so heavy from those quarters
do you remember?
‘cause i hope i don’t forget

i like to think back to
when we’d be swallowed
by the forts we’d build
and get lost in the
digestion of design
of blankets and pillows
and those little green
armchairs
do you remember falling
asleep inside of those?
‘cause i do

sometimes i like to
let the memories consume
me for those few
moments, when the design
of my childhood’s
digestion swirls me
around, i wonder if
you remember the good
old days, ‘cause i
know i’ll never forget

Morning Ritual

Can you hear that, too?

            the tick-tock of a heart beat speeding as the
alarm clock screams

the drip-drop of  warm water pelting flesh
in a morning ritual

the sizzling of bacon grease on a skillet
shushing the nighttime away

the swishing of saliva swirling
around the morning mouth of chomping teeth like
a Merry-Go-Round full of dancing children

the gulp of coffee burning down the throat and
the yelp, “OW!” as it settles in the stomach

Can you smell that, too?

the after rain scent and the crystallized bulbs of dew
attaching to the blades of grass like
children in the arms of mothers

the fresh shampooed hair and
soap-scrubbed skin

the bacon and coffee collecting
in the air welcoming the morning in around the house

Can you see that, too?

the sheer look of terror in
those voids of sight as they surrender sleep

the soul-smiling gaze as pondering
thoughts transpire in a calm, morning baptism

the bacon sizzling on the stove
and the coffee boiling in the pot

the de-stressing smile of satisfaction
as the coffee drizzles down the throat and

the impression of pain as it burns
its way down but a smile of contentment soon after

and the de-smiling look of realization
that it’s Monday morning and work is calling names

and the reddish-orange and yellow sunrise

with purple tints and blue shading around the clouds

making the dread of work somehow okay

I Would

Sometimes I wish that I could just drive far, far away. And not to run away. Not to any specific destination. Just drive and keep driving wherever the road takes me. Some days I just want to leave the suburbs and get lost in the world, only the stars as my guide. Can you imagine what that would be like? Leaving the city, abandoning the roots of your life for an adventure? If only life could be lived like that.

I would take the 7 seas
in the stars and sail
across them until the moon
calls me home 

I would drive down
the empty trails
that lead to nowhere
and everywhere I’ve ever dreamed of

I would abandon myself
at the house of my youth
and explore the stars in
wonder, listening to their stories

I would run through the forested 
plains, and jump through the 
rivered valleys, skipping stones
that dance on a rippling surface

I would breathe in the words of God
and this world. I would love, I would dance, 
I would live, and I would learn to 
actually see what I left behind 

26th Sunset of February

Dance with me under
the blue moonlit canopy

of stars, our souls glide

through those marshmallow

mountaintops our souls linger
in perfect rhythm

with every planet
pulled in by the gravity

of our beating hearts

a true melody
in violin promises
a summer smile,

unceasing passion
in perpetual motion
of three syllables

oh, we’ll run to the
endless edges of the world
and chase the sunset

So run, run, my love
into the great big ocean
I’ll swim in your eyes

And let’s paint the sky
every sunset that’s caught us

on fire, my love

We’ll walk through the flames
in silhouetted starlight

our footprints ceaseless 

Bloody Mary

"the darkest wombs exit the heart,"

she said

i listened to her somber voice

like a ghost

in my blood

the moon was swelling

the sweetest melody

in cricket violins 

and the wind

as she screamed

murder, murder

i laid atoned 

in my own blood

the mirror telling no lies

bloody mary, bloody mary,

bloody mary