Chapter 5

PRE-PRELUDE
* I hate poems about break ups *

PRELUDE
July 20^th:
The plot is thickening, like
my blood pumping in my veins, my
heart under siege. Milky flags fly up like 

clouds in my blue eyes that begin to 

overcast a 99% chance of scattered
showers. Have you looked outside,
yet? (I can hear them ask) It’s beautiful. 

But I can

barely see through these
clouds of gray.

I’ve sewn the seeds, reaped
for four months, now these
weeds have uprooted out of
nowhere, it seems.
Today I say what I’ve always
said, and thought I would always
say, but hours of silence I
have received.

Kevin, we need to talk

I swallow back vomit and the
thousand tears I thought
we’d share.

CHAPTER 1
March 12th:
Fingers interlocked, we
skip out during intermission

and speed home. I smile at the
sad smile in your eyes. Something
I figured I’d never be
able to fix, not that I
even wanted to. Some how

in the silence,

our lips lock for the first

time. Your eyes, brilliant brown,

avoid mine. I wonder why.
I notice your smile,

half-hearted, beautiful, the best.
I make a goal right there,
to make your hate of everything

disperse.

That night I change my relationship

status on Facebook.

March 16^th:

Celebrating for the 20^th
time, the day I came out

of my mother, crying, coated in
blood.
They say birth is a beautiful thing.

Those brown eyes, engaged
in their own world,
stare right through mine.

You follow the path to
my soul with such precision;

no one’s ever made it there before.

And you hand to me a home-made 

crafted cake, with a painted face
of my favorite band. Let’s face it, 

everyone knows you
can’t bake, but you

perfected it.

CHAPTER 2

April:

The days roll on, as
does our feelings. Our friends
have become friends, somehow, 

someway. By chance? By Fate? By 

God? My heart wants to rush

to say those forbidden words,

but as a hopeless romantic,

I know better. And you lecture me:

when the time is right, we will know.

We’ve slipped so many times on these 

slopes. Sometimes I just want to slide 

into the uncharted depths below to the 

center of your heart, and let
fate pull me down.
April 12^th:
I’ve come to respect the little
things in life: the bugs, the trees, the
wind, the days.
Happy one month.

CHAPTER 3
May:
Your brown eyes, brilliant, always
searching for meaning, I have
fallen in love with.
The way you write and word
everything with your witty remarks,
I love that. Your progressing novel.
It’s the way you say my
name, and smile when I kiss you.
It’s the way you grin when
you speak out of the side of your
mouth. I love that.
I want to say it. I am ready to say it.

Exams. We both are scared.
You have no reason to be. You’re 

brilliant.

May 12^th:
Happy Two Months, I love you.

CHAPTER 4
June:
Enjoying summer with you, everyday it 

seems. In a couple of weeks I
am taking summer classes at Kent.

My favorite time of day is

when you and I sit out

on your porch and read. Just read.

I love sneaking peaks over there,

you in your chair, stretched back,

your eyes pondering the pages, painting

profound pictures in your brilliant mind.

You are quite the artist, dear.

I love your family. Your brother. Your 

mother and father. We dance out under

the moonlight with our lack of

rhythm. You call me white. (You can
say that again.)

You take me to the lake in your 

neighborhood. I think it’s going to be 

some poetic place full of pretty scenery.

I stare at feces of geese floating on

murky water.

We talk about the future. You 

say your if’s, and I say my when’s.
I know what my heart wants.

June 12^th:
Happy Three Months, darling,
I love you. So much.

CHAPTER 5:

 July 4^th:

You seem so happy. Always smiling

with that disarming charm of yours.

We sit out in your half brothers back 

yard, watching the neighborhood

ignited in patterns and colors
from the house across the street.
We all sit in a circle, on those white, 

hard plastic chairs, sitting around a well-

lit fire. Staring up into the sky, watching 

the neighbors, as you guys do every 

year. You are holding my arm,

smiling. I’ve never seen you so happy.

In the company of your family, of your
lover. I smile because you are smiling.

July 12^th:
You invite me over. I give you
that hardcover copy of the Jonas 

Brothers On Tour since you are
so obsessed with them.
I take you out, despite you
begging me not to.

You give me a mint.

Happy Four Months, babe, I love you.

July 19^th:

Today is the first time

you get mad at me. I talk about how
I am sad to watch Borders go,

you say that I am too afraid of change

and “it’s not you, it’s me.”

Two attempts in, I’m

questioning your motives. Today
you are someone I’ve never
met before. What’s your name?
Attempt three.

My eyes are sleepy, my heart

heavy. I love you.

Talk to you tomorrow. (A cold chill
runs down my spine).

That night I choke back the
imagination of my mind

in liquid chapters. My eyes tell
the story through the storms

of gray, suffocating the blue.

July 20^th:

Good morning, I love you.

The morning is new, the heat 

unbearable. Beautiful blue skies,
puffy white clouds, I

smile waiting for your reply.

Hours later. Babe?

A plague of some sort begins to
spread through my blood

into my heart, poisoning

my perception. I can hear

the clock.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

The story unfolds in the deafening
silence. Chapter after chapter,
scene by scene. I’m sipping on coffee,
trembling over thoughts that tear

through my heart.

Three hours.

This silence speaks for itself:
chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 3

chapter 4

chapter 5

Kevin, we need to talk

That night I sit in chills, while

people complain about the heat.

Silence. Darkness. Damnation.

Kevin Pees went from being in a 

relationship, to single.

EPILOGUE

August

September

I run into you on campus. Your 

complexion is godly, you smile, bringing
a thousand tears to my eyes. Those 

brown crystal bulbs still the same.
The gods call it paradise

I call it paradise lost